Good Evening, It's An Honor To Be Used As A Political Prop By My Husband's Campaign | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
- Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for being here with us. I speak to you tonight as a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and, of course, a proud American.But most of all, Iâ€™m happy to stand before you as a meticulously calculated communication tool whose every action, from the color of my dress down to each wave of my hand, has been premeditated and painstakingly devised by a set of experienced political handlers working to re-elect my husband this November.Honestly, Iâ€™m thrilled to see all of you here tonight, knowing that my presence has been consciously engineered to soften my husbandâ€™s image and give his poll numbers a quick boost. There is really no greater pleasure in the world than getting up on this stage and talking to millions of Americans not only as a first lady, but also as a cynical ploy to add warmth, humanity, and relatability to an otherwise cold, detached three-day display of political gamesmanship.
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