Fuck America up The Ass With A Spiky Broken Glass Dildo
- Fuck America until it bleeds to death. Short enough for you?America is the origin of all things bad. If Satan has a favorite country, it's America. America is mayonnaise to people who hate mayonnaise. Sometimes I can't sleep because of America. Even tiny, adorable, innocent kittens turn into flesh-shredding demons when they hear of America, are brought to America, or are near something that was once in America. Compared to America, Darfur is the Garden of Eden. Without America, there would be peace in the Middle East, WWII would never have happened, and Mother Teresa would still be alive. Residents of America who go to hell (which they all will, if for no other reason than where they live) won't know the difference.Every person in America is horrible. All the bad qualities that are possible in a person are found in every single American citizen. It wouldnâ€™t be inaccurate at all to say that all Americans are fat, stupid, lazy, ignorant, incompetent, fat (again), unpleasant, slow, and rude. When Americans travel to other countries, there is a visible trail of evil smoke that follows them. It hangs in the air like some weird gas (BTW, all American gases are both weird and unalterably bad). Watch out for it, so you don't accidentally cross paths with an American.Speaking of Americans traveling to other countries, everything the American government and corporations is a form of imperialism designed to destroy the native culture and economy for pure sport. American business loses money by exporting jobs to other nations, but they want everybody to be an employee of an American corporation. The American government has funded the initiators of every war in history. American industry's goal is to make sure that no one can ever think about anything besides America, and make sure that they don't have any food, clothing, shelter, electricity, running water, individuality, freedom, or hope. Every time a foreign person commits suicide, an American corporation throws a party.American history is nothing more than a long list of civil rights abuses, mass murder, and Satan worship. Every single war America ever fought was another case of big, bad American picking on a poor little country because they were bored and decided to kill a few hundred thousand people. American shot all the other Olympians, which is why they won any medals at all in the last Olympics. But they're so awful, they didn't even win all the events anyway. George Washington, the supposed hero of this stupid nation, was a terrible general and had false teeth. Benjamin Franklin wasn't even president, but he probably bribed someone into putting him on the $100 bill. Maybe he did it WITH $100 bills. That's how conniving Americans are. Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb by accident; he was trying to harness electricity so he could use it to torture poor people from foreign countries. Ulysses Grant had slaves, even though he was partly to end slavery (which Americans invented), because he was a giant douchebag. Henry Ford hated Jews. Guess who else hated Jews? Hitler (Hitler, the second most common image of evil next to America around the world, was probably an American citizen). John F. Kennedy paid someone to assassinate him and his brother because he hated America so much, and realized he might do some good if he was allowed to finish his term as president. FDR had polio. The list goes on and on.
So remember, citizens of the world: the best thing to do when you an encounter an American is to shoot them in their American face, preferably with American guns and bullets for the irony, and because you wouldn't want to corrupt good bullets by shooting them into an American. And someone start planning how to blow up the whole country without retaliation. Whoever does this will probably be remembered as the greatest human being who ever lived, because you destroyed America.