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09/15/2019
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bizarre
Can I really get government funding for my non-traditional idea? - I'm laughing hard! Look what I've found: " Free Government Grants and Loans - your tax dollars funding the future. Theodore Burgess of Amagansett, New York, successfully petitioned our organization to procure funding for his study on the detriments of minorities in his neighborhood, and despite runaway outcry, local news attention and a motion in state congress, we funded his program, and we did so with unrivaled pride. Mr. Burgess set out to determine community satisfaction and crime levels currently as they compared to "1997 Ė Pre-Mexican Invasion" levels, and for the affordable cost of $3.7million we were able to finance his research. If you have the next great American idea and youíre looking for funding, we hope youíll consider government funding for your research or social project, and not just because the faucet is always running, but because our expectations for viable outcomes are so minimal youíll be hard pressed to find easier oversight from anything short of a mafia front company. Before sending in your grant request, or emailing us for clarification, check out these Frequently Asked Questions to provide information about almost any question you may have." And FAQ: "I have no idea at all, can I still qualify for a grant? Yes you can! Some of our most successful outcomes have been based on little or no initial idea as to what the outcome should be. When we funded the First Church of Nazarene Mexspaniology, the founder had no real concept of where his research was headed, but he had a great title, and we funded it. Today itís one of the largest and most successful religions in the Southwest."
From Daily Contempt


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